Saturday, November 17, 2012

Fiscal Cliff Notes

I love doing Sudoku puzzles. When my son recently brought one home for extra credit, I was all too happy to help. A logic puzzle came home the next day, and I was in heaven once again. I spent a little too much time helping on that one. If you love them like I do, but feel a little guilty spending time on such frivolous things when world peace is so elusive, I have a solution. Here are a couple puzzles that not only tease your brain but will enlighten your mind on political knowledge and government spending.

 Political Puzzler

Nancy, whose last name is not Rockefeller but Pelosi, beams brightly at just the prospect of spending more tax payer money for bailouts, stimulus, and entitlements.

Candidate B, who won’t release his birth certificate, college transcripts, or his love letters to Bill Ayers, makes an issue out of Candidate M’s refusal to release all of his tax returns, Swiss bank accounts, binders of woman, and bubble gum money.

Romney, whose first name is Willard and not Mitt, is positively a Mormon. Obama, whose middle name is not Washington, Adams, or Jefferson but Hussein, is definitely not a Muslim. 

Reid, whose first name is not Mitt but Harry, is also a Mormon, but seems @%#* mad at the other Mormon for giving Mormon’s a bad name, paying absolutely no taxes, and I believe owning a dog. 

Bill, whose last name is Clinton not O’Reilly, is giddy about the possibility of a President Clinton living at the White House again in four more years. Young female White House interns, who are not elated but scared at the idea, are considering other career options.

Clinton, Hillary and Bill, are both looking for the “binders of women” – each, of course, for entirely different purposes.  

Axelrod, whose first name is David and not Sleazy, favorite word is “he is a liar.” Wait! That is four words. Shoot, now I guess I will be counted among those whose math just doesn’t add up. 

Elementary math, not calculus, states if you spend $4 but only earn $2, you will need to borrow $2 from China. Big Bird, not Wealthy Willard, thinks that’s a good idea. 

1% is the amount of bad guys in the US.

51, not just dollars but $51,883.23, is the amount each person in the U.S. would need to contribute today in order to pay off the 16 TRILLION dollar national debt. 

Wife A, who wears designer clothes, should be ashamed for never having worked a day in her life. Wife M, who spends $500 on altering a $50 Target dress, understands the plight of the common woman. 

Ryan is an elephant. Biden is a jackass. Oh, I mean donkey.

Tax payer A, who owns a little pizza store, might fall off the fiscal cliff when taxes and government mandates and regulations increase. I guess even without voting for the guy with the 99 weeks of unemployment benefit plan, I just might be able to collect. Unfortunately, I am not sure of all the consequences I might "enjoy" from this election.

Sudoku Washington Style








Ryan’s budget



Binders of Women


Michelle’s arms








Axelrod’s mustache




Big Bird



Can’t figure out the Sudoku puzzle? It’s like politics and elections – very bewildering indeed. Despite David Axelrod threatening to shave his mustache, Donald Trump’s big October surprise that wasn’t, the question of whether it is time for Big Bird to grow up and be self-sufficient, and what was the impact of hurricane Sandy, all I know is that every presidential election they claim it could possibly come down to a handful of votes in Ohio. And a whole lot of money is sure spent for those few votes.  After a year of divisiveness, let’s hope our coming together isn't a unified fall off the fiscal cliff. I am sure Nancy Pelosi is currently dreaming of how she can save the day. Oh, heaven help us!

1 comment:

Ashlee, Justin, & Owen said...

This post is to smart for me :)