Then End of March Madness?

Chucking the ball at another player, trash talking, holding jerseys, and shoving may not always be considered sportsmanlike conduct; however, each is still accepted as tolerable actions among players on the basketball court. Some would say it is all just part of the game. It seems that someone forgot to tell Rutger’s Mike Rice that he was definitely not in the game or even listed  among the names on the players’ roster. It actually might have been helpful during his team’s practice, when he began his derogatory tirades and childish kicking, if someone would have reminded him that there was a “Coach” in front of his name.

It is common knowledge that college basketball coaches desire and compete all year for an invite to participate in the NCAA tournament each spring, Yet, this coach was not just enticed by the lure of March Madness, but seemed to aspire to February Fits, April Aggression, and May Meltdowns.

            If these videos had not been released by ESPN’s Outside the Lines, one must wonder how long this “coach” would have been allowed by Rutger’s University to berate, belittle, and accost “his” players. After all, the Athletic Director Tim Pernetti has had a copy of these videos in his possession for several months. So, it’s not surprising that Pernetti now admits that he probably should have done more concerning these allegations. Oh, really? Pernetti has discovered, unfortunately, a little too late for him – and these ball players – that when one makes excuses for someone who merits absolutely no job security, you usually end up losing your job too. Perhaps he will learn something during his deserved unemployment and will have a desire to look out for – and protect – the right people in the future.

            The sports’ headlines and news programs are all abuzz with their take on Mike Rice. On April 6, Salt Lake Tribune columnist Gordon Monson asked the question many have wondered after viewing these abusive videos, “How many Mike Rices are out there coaching our kids?” On the following day, USA Today answered the question with their headline, “Mike Rice not alone in abuse, just caught.” Sadly, I agree. 

             The larger question is why, oh why, do we tolerate this behavior among adults who are given the responsibility to guide, teach, direct, and instruct our children. We would never allow a teacher in a classroom setting to drop the f-bomb at will, but very few adults bat an eye when it is yelled in the face of a player on the sidelines of a game. That type of behavior has become commonplace among coaches and widely accepted as part of the game. My son’s high school basketball coach was heard using that word during a game, and no one questioned him.

            In fact, that coach was quite fluent in colorful language and freely shared his skills. The line my son heard most often was”&*#% Bryson! Catch the #@% - &$#% ball!” I should probably be grateful that my son did not find that blankity-blank ball making a point-blank bee line for his head – courtesy of his irritated coach. 

            Often parents – and I am one of them – have feared it will hurt their child’s chances on the field if they speak up, or perhaps, we might worry that our actions will cause more abuse for the kids during practice. We definitely have given too much authority and power to the coaches, and in turn, we have left our children defenseless.    

            Just viewing the complete submissiveness of each player as Rice shoved, grabbed, kicked, threw balls, and verbally attacked them made my stomach queasy. And then when some of the players publically defended him, I thought my head my actually explode.  I wondered how and why they thought any of this behavior was okay.

On the one hand, we desire compassion for our children and have national campaigns to prevent bullying in schools and on the playground, but when there is a coach in front of an individual’s name, we condone their intimidation methods all in the name of motivation, toughness, and winning. It is hard to have it both ways.

I say that we have enough self-centered, name calling, jerks in the world. Let us not raise another generation of Mike Rices because we believe it is more important for our children to be tough, aggressive athletes than kind human beings.

            Coach is a title we automatically respect, but those who warrant that admiration are the ones who teach discipline and resilience by example. After all, how can we expect young athletes to show self-control if their coach cannot. Thankfully, not every coach is a Mike Rice. There are many who understand that when they are called coach, a young athlete regards them as a wise and trusted mentor.

            Next year, let’s hope the Madness in March simply refers to Cinderella stories, buzzer beaters, and that one glorious shining moment, and if any frustration is involved, it is towards your mate and his or her bracket and not a misguided, potty-mouthed, fit-throwing, angry-eyed, little man.

 

To vote or not to vote

          I began my second semester of school on Monday. I had enrolled in a political science class to fulfill my American Institutions credit. I like politics, and after researching the professor teaching the class, I learned that he wasn’t an extreme liberal – and surprisingly he actually had some conservative views – and so I thought I would enjoy learning without the frustration of being told all the virtues of the far left.  The class began with a 10 question quiz. First question – who is president? That one was easy enough. And I breezed through the next three – vice president, U.S. Senator, U.S. Congressman – but then I needed to list my representatives in my state’s senate and congress. I remembered one, but even after trying to visualize all the political signs from last fall, I had no idea. Strike one. 

          How many U.S. Senators was an easy question. 100 – two from each state – is an easy figure to remember. But I was stumped when asked how many congressmen. My first thought was “too many” but knew that wasn’t going to earn me any points. I knew about how many but guessed inaccurately. Strike two.

          The last two questions were about the Electoral College – where is it held and how many total votes. I had no idea where it was held and wondered if they all really met somewhere to cast their votes. I guessed Pennsylvania and surprisingly so did several other students. But I was wrong. Strike three. The professor was frustrated that even after the presidential election no one knew, and he wasn’t going to tell us the answer. So, I Googled it. And as far as I can tell, delegates meet at their respective state’s capitol to cast their votes. But maybe I am still wrong. Do you know? However, I was correct on the number of votes. I learned something from all the possible “to win The White House” scenarios from the last presidential election coverage. I knew that it took 270 votes to secure the presidency. I also knew that there could be a possible tie with each candidate receiving 269 votes. So I doubled that figure and guessed correctly. After I shared my answer, I was asked why that many. Now I was feeling not just stupid but incredibly ignorant.  With the help of several class members, we came up with the answer. There are a total of 538 Electoral College votes one each for every U.S. Senator (100) and U.S. Congressman (435) plus three for the District of Columbia.

          So, I answered 7 out of 10 correctly. But considering the fact that I proudly wear my “I Voted” sticker each election, I should have easily known all ten. From the reaction of the other students, most of them failed the quiz. And I began to wonder what would happen if each voter needed to take a similar test and pass before being allowed to cast their vote. Would the results be different? Would those voting make a more informed decision? There are plenty of hilarious videos on YouTube of incredibly uniformed voters being interviewed by the likes of Glenn Beck and Howard Stern.  And I wonder if there was not a D or an R by a candidate’s name would some of us know how to vote. Sadly, in many areas, all that is required to vote is to simply show up. And in a highly contested precinct, if you need a ride, your respective political party will gladly pick you up, request your support, and take you back home. Every election cycle much is said about the right to vote and making sure no one is disenfranchised, but what about the responsibility to be an educated and informed voter. Maybe there should be some other requirement.  In order to give blood, one must read a lengthy pamphlet each time regardless of how many times it has been read before. We require a food handlers test in order to take orders at the local McDonald's. One must show ID to buy beer. We carry various cards in wallets to present at the register in order to get the best price on groceries. But to vote – to determine who will lead our country and make laws that govern us and who we entrust to preserve the greatness of America – all we require is a warm body. It is completely pathetic that it is harder to buy a pack of cigarettes than to vote in this country. And then we wonder why there are so many idiots in Washington.

Play like a girl?

After a week of experiencing an extreme case of nerves and agonizing cuts, my son made his high school’s sophomore basketball team last November. It was a great accomplishment. However, we have quickly learned that being on the team has its share of disappointments as well.  My son is incredibly nice and very obedient. And those traits don’t mix well with high school hoops. My son believes that everyone should play by the rules. I agree with him. Unfortunately, holding jerseys, standing on another player’s foot, staring down a player you have knocked to the ground, throwing elbows, pushing and shoving when the official isn’t looking, and taking any advantage over another player seems to be necessary to secure a win. And the objective isn’t just to win but to demoralize your opponent in the process.

I love the game of basketball, and I love to watch my son play, but I realize that in order for him to play at this level, he might have to change who he is, and I don’t think that is who I want him to be. His coach says that he needs to toughen up. He is probably right. Staring down a player he has knocked down is not in my son’s nature. He would prefer offering a hand to help him up. The concept of holding another player’s jersey when it is against the rules goes against my son’s moral compass. If cheating is part of the game, I am not so sure I want my son to be comfortable with that aspect. Yes, there are a lot of good men who understand it is part of the game to play a certain way on the court and then choose complete integrity in all other aspects of their life. For some – like Tiger Woods – the line becomes blurred and cheating – as long as you don’t get caught – becomes acceptable no matter the venue. 

And then there is all the swearing and yelling from his coaches and mentors. I think that I might have yelled at my son possibly twice in his lifetime. And I have never uttered a swear word at him. I am not a saint. My children have heard me yell. However, this fine young man simply chooses to do the right things – no yelling is ever required. It breaks my heart to see his dejected face after his coach has publicly humiliated him. In my experience with him, a simple pointing out of his mistake is really the only correction my son needs to do things differently in the future, but I think his coaches must assume the yelling will add to his toughening process. They are probably right. I just worry that this type of development will change the kind, sweet, honest, and compassionate son whom I absolutely adore. And then again, he may not change and our basketball journey may simply come to a quick end. And quite frankly, if I have to lose his goodness to toughen him up, I will gladly cheer for him at a swim meet instead.

In a world filled with self-absorbed, take advantage any way you can, tough and hardened men, a kind, honest, thoughtful, and compassionate young man is indeed a rarity. It seems rather odd – and incredibly foolish – that we would want to change him to be like everyone else simply to be successful at a possibly inconsequential and frivolous game. It would make more sense to change the way sports are played instead. But I think I would definitely be called a “girl” or probably worse for expressing that particular sentiment.

Oh, Baby!

While recently stumping for President Obama, Bill Clinton announced his plans for celebrating his 37^th wedding anniversary and received a round of enthusiastic applause from the audience. With his infidelity being so rampant in his marriage, should he really be receiving any credit for the longevity of the union? 

Monica Lewinsky is finally writing a book about the affair. I always found it odd that she had not cashed in on that experience earlier. Maybe she truly did want to put it all behind her, but the public would not let her. I guess no matter what her accomplishments, she will always be known as “that woman.”

Poor Hillary looks exhausted. It could be the anticipation of the tell-all book, her hectic schedule as Secretary of State, or simply being married to Bill. With all she has been through, I would think a divorce would give her more peace and respite than retirement. 

With her recent trip to the Middle East, it seems Kim Kardashian is hoping to be considered to replace Mrs. Clinton. Maybe she actually believes the rumors that President Obama is going Hollywood. And for her boyfriend Kanye – with all his people skills – she probably believes he is being considered as the new CIA Director. Yes, their egos are that big.

It seems the rumors of a love baby between Kimye are not true just yet. But now that there is a royal baby in the near future, I am sure they won’t want Will and Kate getting all the attention. 

Tears of joy from the commoners could be seen all throughout England with the announcement of Kate’s much anticipated pregnancy. And now the baby bump watching begins. Oh, poor Kate. She thought the topless photographs were intrusive. I think she will be amazed at the angles in which the paparazzi will photograph her expanding tummy. 

As much as I hate the term, I wish that I had not only invented but trademarked “baby bump.” If I only had a nickel for every time it was said during Beyonce’s pregnancy, I could pay off the national debt. Well, I guess there are worse things. They could be saying something silly like infantile incubation increase. Now, doesn’t that just immediately make you feel better about hearing baby bump for the next 9 months?

Must Have Items!

The holiday give me buzz now begins even before the giving of thanks ends. It starts earlier every year. Retailers can no longer wait until Friday at 5am to start collecting our Christmas cash and are now open on Thanksgiving. Some are incredibly thoughtful and do not open their doors until midnight. How kind of them to wait. I am sure their employees appreciate that gesture. I guess a big chunk of the blame has to be placed on the consumer who willingly spends their day of thanks strategically planning their score of the must have items. Gratitude, thoughtfulness, and family are thrown aside for the selfish pursuit of the latest and greatest gadgets at the lowest price of the season.

What are your “must have” items? There might have been a time in my life when it included the state of the art video game Pong or Barry Manilow’s album featuring the hit song Mandy – and now you know how old I am – but thankfully I have grown up. My wish list can’t be purchased. Some of it may not even be attainable but that doesn’t stop it from being included in my daily prayers. 

First on my list would be to open my door and find my prodigal had returned home. 

I would want for the health of my dad – who loves to piddle in his yard – to be restored and for him to be able to enjoy cutting his lawn again.

For my son whose “happily ever after” ended heartbreakingly, I would want him to be able to trust when love came knocking at his door again. 

For my generous and giving daughter who is just the cutest mom to my adorable grandson, I wish for her to be blessed with another child. (And for the record, her hubby is a pretty cute dad as well!) 

I would love for my daughter who would never ever want to hurt anyone’s feelings to find a mate that would deserve her kindness – without ever having to go on another blind date!

For my 6’2” son who would love to grow to be 6’8” and have a career in the NBA, I hope he will be perfectly content with the life God wants him to have.

For those whose list include a big screen television or the iPhone (insert current number), I am not sure if I envy or pity those people. Maybe they have been fortunate and have escaped the kind of heartache that causes deep reflection about the priorities of their life. And yet isn’t that what makes us kind and compassionate human beings. I will gladly take the sorrow that accompanies my “grown-up” wish list because I would much rather be surrounded by family than amongst a group of strangers fighting over a PlayStation 3 at Wal-Mart any day of the week. Health, happiness, family, faith, and love should be everyone’s must have items this and every holiday season.